Bar Experiment #1, Friday night:
We decided to head out to the street with a million bars (or the Theater of the Living as we so lovingly call it) assuming we were bound to find someone interesting in at least one of them. Walking down the road in subzero temperatures we are struck by how overly dressed we were. And by overly dressed, I mean dressed for the conditions. We refused to wait in line for any bar because our years of experience tells us that this will just lead to freezing our butts off then being crammed into an overheated sweatbox where every guy with a hand has an excuse to "accidentally" bump into various parts of our anatomy. Not our idea of a good time.
We settle into a table at one of our favorite bars where the draft beer is served in a very large glass for a very reasonable amount. Guys walked in and out of this bar, but no one caught our attention so we decided to continue enjoying our beers and harassing several of our friends over text. Then Mr. Cop walks in.
You always feel bad for those poor officers who pull the short straw that evening and are stuck patrolling the bars Friday and Saturday nights. Between all the puke and fights, it has to be one heck of a crappy night. On several occasions we have taken notice of these boys in uniform, but feel that ending up in the back of a patrol car is not the ideal way to meet one. Anyways, back to Mr. Cop. He opens the door and walks in with his thumbs in his belt with that "I-have-a-gun-and-a-badge-so-men-fear-me-and-women-want-to-do-me" look. Oh boy. He slowly walks by, staring the whole time. The Ginger and I are attempting to figure out whether he thinks we're underage or is checking us out (the looks are shockingly similar.)
Mr. Cop positions himself at a point where he has a direct view of the bathroom and us. This is very inconvenient for us because beers cause you to pee, sometimes a lot. Ginger is the first to use the facilities. He watches her, looking her up and down. I'm messaging her things like "OMG that cop is staring at you!" and "Eww eww eww!" After she's safely in the bathroom, I'm stuck facing him. Of course I start pretending something amazing is happening on my phone that I can't take my eyes off of. She returns and it's my turn to walk past our new friend. Let's just say the same thing happened to me. Eww. The process repeated itself a few more times that evening.
Okay guys, we appreciate the interest and all, but come on! We leave the bar and Mr. Cop behind. We've had enough socializing for one evening.
Experiment #1: FAIL